yearly update =P

Ok so I'm super bad at keeping this thing updated but I really have to be in the mood to write I guess...

- School is a bitch and can suck a fat one; I will be forever stuck at this community college and serving tables at Olive Garden.

- I was extremely privileged to be asked by my cousin Brandy and her husband to join the two of them and Chris in Oahu in May! I am SO excited there's no words...what a great opportunity! I am so excited I honestly don't know what to do with myself...I've been working like a mad woman six days a week so I can scrounge up some spending money in Oahu. There couldn't have been a more better time then now for this getaway; nice brain break from reality and PEOPLE.

- So I got a tanning membership about two days ago because I figured that I wanted to be tan before I go to Hawaii so I don't get miserably sun burnt while I'm there! So obviously I went too long today because I burnt the shit out of my butt & boobs =/ they are SO incredibly red, throbbing and burning with pain =[

- So...there's a boy. Actual more like a man for a change, he's 24 and his name will be left unsaid because I can still talk about him without you knowing who he is! But with everything in my life follows complication, and yet I am still surprised when these complications occur... Forbidden fruit. It's never easy.

- Max is out of jail. Haha that's a joke and a a half. And of course he comes into Olive Garden the day he gets out to have dinner with a few frieends which OH WEIRD some of them are my friends too so it was just LOVELY. Its always something...


ookkk see this is why i dont often post because towards the end i begin to annoy myself thinking....why the hell does anyone CAREEEEEEE about what Im saying?


excuse me, im a nut case

[:

U G H S

--I am finding myself to be constantly RESTLESS when I don't have anything going. Especially when I'm not in class or at work, I have grown so restless just hanging out around the house and it's becoming a serious problem.

--I need to kick back off the coffee every single morning and my Coca-Cola intake.

--S is stressing me out so badly lately I'm at my wits end again. I want to blame it on PMS but who knows... I don't feel like S is ever listening to me and I feel a drift, again.

--There is such a fucking overload of students at school that it is becoming extremely difficult to get into classes...I was trying to add a Psych class onto my schedule and there weren't even enough desks for students that were already registered in the class let alone the thirty students trying to ass the class. I feel like school is such a scheme/scam but it's so freakin necessary.

--I'm sick of paying for speeding tickets....three in counting.

--I overwhelm myself with the thought of how much work it's going to take to become a successful Registered Nurse(RN)....EVERYDAY.

--The economy is shit which means the tips are shit which is not good for a server like myself...

--Speaking of work, we're getting a new GM at work and I'm nervous about...



Ok...I need to shut the hell up but whatever....urgggh

I'm A Little Nut Case

I've been horrible lately at keeping this updated but I finally found the time where I could just sit and relax with a cup of coffee and write to help me feel less stressed. So nothing TOO crazy has happened lately...I've been taking advantage of the lazy days before work everyday before school starts up again. For the past ten days I had my third cousin Catia from Gloucester, Massachusetts and her best friend who I've never met or knew even existed over to entertain and show them around Northern California. My godmother invited them out and they stayed at her house for the ten days and my mom, grandma, godmother and myself all took them to several different hot spots in Northern Cali. One of course was San Francisco and that was so fun but another happening that occured while I was on the way to take the girls to Valley Fair was getting my third speeding ticket. =[ UGHH, I'm such an idiot, but I convinced myself that I'm not going to let it bother me because I can't do anything to change it, but it looks like I am off to get a credit card otherwise I will be in grave danger of getting myself in a deeper hole I'm already in. Ayayay. ANYWAYS...next weekend the whole family and myself are going up to Hilmar for a little get together at my Uncle Tony's house in farm country. I'm pretty excited and I think Samantha is coming with. My mom called my cell phone from inside her room from the house phone to ask me if I wanted to get Denny's this morning. I was dying laughing because my mom and I never eat breakfast nonetheless never go out to eat breakfast, it was just so random and funny. I went to the cemetary a few weeks ago to visit my grandpas and also because I purchased a Benfica keychain that I wanted to put on the flower vase on my Avo Mario's grave. Hmmm well nothing else too crazy has been happening but I just thought I should write a little somethin somethin and of course some new pictures.
Ciao Belllas

Between the Holiday season and all of the festivities surrounding that, Christmas shopping and Finals Week I feel like my head is going to POP! Not much is new besides the fact that I have some great Christmas gifts that I can't wait to give this year. Oh lord...I'm very much of a giver and I think I go a little bit over board sometimes but whatever. Well life is pretty dull in the life of Jessica so Merry Christmas shopping everyone!

random ramblings

So the end of the semester is coming to an end and I'm finishing up what I hope to be my first successful semester of college! Honestly, if I can tackle school anyone in the world can tackle school. I am so freakin' proud of myself. I just have a 8-page research paper due next week and then I'm basically done with school besides a final in English. Oy vey! Let's see, hmm a little recap. Last weekend I went to a Tank Tour at this private museum in Portola Valley. I went with my Dad, Josh and my Uncle Mike, we had a freeakin blast; especially my motor-head Dad and Uncle. This guy had a crazy collection and piece of land, it was quite impressive. I sent a few pictures to my cousin Mark because so much of it reminded me of him, and he responded saying that a lot of the stuff I sent him in pictures are still used over in Iraq, it was nuts! Also at the end of the tour the guide showed is this propeller, or techinically a propeller is off an airplace but a "screw" is off of a boat; there was 1 of the 3 screws off the famous liner the Lusitania at the museum we went to. That was pretty neat as well.

The weekend before the tank tour we had the family over at our house for some yummy seafood! My family is obsessed and usually has a big seafood feast on New Year's Day, but we decided to get together and that was the entree of choice! Ok by me because it is so freakin good and also a hella of a lot of fun being with the family of course! So I guess this post is mainly for my family that couldnt be there to see the common family festivity!

My Avo Mario

Although it's sad to write about or sad to read it's completely necessary. Around the time of my Avo Mario's death I was not blogging and therefore had no where to resort the deep feelings I kept on my chest; it feels good to finally be able to get it out so excuse my reminiscent post. The love for both of my late grandfathers is unmeasurable and special in their own ways. My Avo Joaquim (mom's dad) did not speak one word of English, therefore our relationship was special because I was his only grandchild that spoke some sort of Portuguese and conversed with him as much as I could. My Avo Mario on the other hand attempted to learn the language and was able to converse with all twelve of his grandchildren. Being able to have full on converstations with my Avo Mario opened up a completely different world and relationship. He knew my personality, likes/dislikes, goals and ambitions. One of my goals in life that he is now my biggest motivation and push to fulfill is my goal of becoming a Registered Nurse. When he was very ill in 2006 I was at the hospital every single day visiting him making sure everything was going good. When he was released from the hospital he was still very sick and there was a great chance of him returning to the hospital due to infections or what have you. I will never forget the inspiring words I will forever cherish in my heart. He said to me, "Jessica, if I go back to the hospital again I need you to come and visit me like you did before, and you better go to school to be a Nurse so you can take care of me OK?". I've always talked about becoming a Nurse and I know in due time that day will come, but it means so much more to fulfill that goal in my grandfather's name. I will forever cherish and carry on the endless memories my Avo Mario left behind. Benfica soccer games will be a lot quieter at my house and the wine bottle will be a lot fuller. I loved pouring him either a glass of Carlo Rossi red wine or making him a Seven & Seven before watching soccer games, where he would take his first sip and follow it with a, "Thank you Hunnickas". Although if we really wanted to watch his blood pressure we should have never allowed him to view soccer or football games. He was a die hard Benfica and 49er's fan and when either of the two would mess up we all knew about it. He would pace back and forth nervously if his team was loosing cursing in Portuguese at the TV screen, with my grandmother in the background yelling at him to "Calma!". Tough love is what I would describe my grandparent's Vieiras relationship. My grandpa was SO sweet and my grandma (who I love don't get me wrong) has always just been the most negative nancy. I've never seen someone so grief stricken in my life when my Avo passed, so there was never a doubt there was a lack of love, but if you know my grandmother Mary Lou you know what I mean; she's that way with each and every person she loves and cares about; she must have loved my grandfather a ton because he got the brunt of all her negativity. I loved having my grandfather over; I loved being in the kitchen with him watching him cook up his catch for all of us to eat, mind you he LOVED cooking for his family. In his last months I would constantly nag on him to come over and make me fried rock cod (my favorite) with potatoes. He was always ready and willing, it was just either bad timing or fish was really expensive, but I never got to have that meal I wanted cooked by him so badly. Of course I wish I could've cooked that fish with him like I wanted, but my family has already and will continue to eat lots of my grandfather's favorite dishes in memory of him. If I had the opportunity to be my grandfather's partner in Sueka (Portuguese card game) I would take advantage of it every single time. For two reasons: he was an experienced player and I learned so much playing with him, but I mostly loved seeing him get either way too happy or way too mad, I will never forget the slamming of his knuckles while he placed the cards down extremely hard and me trying to mimic what he did but just simply hurt the hell out of my hand. Lastly, anyone who knew my grandfather knew he LOVED fishing; that was his passion. He knew anything and everything there was to know about fishing and loved fishing often. I can only imagine how tough it's going to be for the men in my family, especially my dad, who did the bulk of the fishing with my grandfather. The fishing trips won't be the same for a while to come and I think that is understandable but I know they won't stop going out there, they'll continue to go in memory of grandfather. I'll end this with a story from my grandfather's last fishing trip pictured below. My dad took my grandfather on a party boat fishing trip in Monterey the weekend before my grandfather's death; my dad will forever keep that as such an important memory I know. While they were getting out into the depths and were able to begin fishing the Captain of the boat came out and told the fisherman how many feet of water they were in and how many feet down the fish were. The Captain knew this obviously through GPS or whatever sonar tools they use to monitor fish. When my dad went to translate what the Captain said my grandfather muttered under her breath something along the lines of, "Tell that Captain to tell those Americans how to fish, but don't tell me". Everyone could not stop laughing when they all heard this story, because everyone already knew how he was. If anyone knew fishing it was my grandpa. On his last fishing trip my dad told me how numerous people came up to him asking him for advice on what to do because he was the most sucessful fisher out that day. On these party boats they put however much money into a "pot" from everyone fishing on the party boat and whoever catches the most fish wins the money. You guessed it, my little 72 year old grandfather went out that day and caught the most fish and won that pot of money. Could you ask for a better fishing trip? My dad is so incredibly lucky to have that extremely precious lasting memory with his father doing both of their favorite pastimes. I could continue writing but it would honestly never stop because as you can see there is way too much to talk about when it comes to my Avo Mario. I am so lucky to have had the relationship I had with him and I will forever carry it with me for the rest of my life.

June 26, 1936 - September 14, 2008
Forever Missed
Forever in my Heart

Say It Ain't So

Being nineteen sucks. I feel like it's a hump; it's such an awkward age. Your not a punk ass teenager anymore but your still not completely there with adulthood. I've been told that you go through a lot of life learning experiences through these years and I can definitely agree so far. Life has been pretty nuts, but we won't un-hash the past, simply rant about the present.

I can't tell you how many hundreds of times I've heard from family members especially my mom and both of my grandmothers that friends come and go but family is forever. Of course we all know this is true, but to certain points depending on who you are and the quality of your friends. I knew for myself that as I grew older I would drift from certain friends from high school and that that was going to be OK, but the drift I never saw happening, has begun. I can't tell yet if this is just a "funk" her and I are going through but I'm at a loss at what to do. This isn't just anyone, it's my best friend. And that's what I mean about importance. I've been spending hours upon days analyzing the problems her and I are having, and just seeing that it's a constant stress. Is it really necessary to continue to put up with a relationship that is for the most part
negative. When is enough really enough and when do you just stop trying?

We're currently in the midst of a fight so I decided to resort here rather than go off on her. I feel like 08' has been an extremely draining year filled with irreplaceable learning experiences. Most of your most important learning experiences have to hurt right? I'm ready for some positive relationships in 09' though, and work on making current relationships positive and if not, then out of my life you go; I have no more room for baggage.

Hopes for a positive post.